id bracelets and hamachi

i'm back at my mom and dad's from the hospital! still feeling a little light headed - not woozy at all, but.... ok, you know that fun trick where you stand in a doorway and press your arms to the frame of the doorway as hard as you can for about 30 seconds, and when you step away it feels like your arms are floating up? well that's kind of how i feel when i stand up for too long. so i'm keeping my tush in place until further notice :).

mom, papa bear and myself stayed in a holiday inn last that was closer to the hospital. it was only about 45 minutes away from the house but the weather was so awful last night that we didn't want to have to worry about it.

then it was off to the hospital this morning! everyone was so nice there. i hate hate hate needles, and they had to put the iv almost immediately after i got there - my nurses Tara and Carol were wonderful, and we chatted the whole time - Tara laughed at me when Carol walked in the room with all the iv stuff because without really realizing it i took a huuuuge breath in and out. Tara had done all my pre-test stuff the few days before and knew needles aren't exactly my fave so she just burst out, which made me laugh and relax a bit. annny way, that was all good. they put my little i.d. bracelets on, one of which was a bright yellow one...

my brother just fell in love with when he saw it hehe. they're required to put it on everyone in the hospital, but still, it made us both giggle. col says i should where it ar

ound for a few days, just to throw people off. i agree.

so like i said, everyone there was so friendly. when i was rolled into the operating room, i had to wait for the anaesthesiologist. one of my surgeons and 3 of my nurses came out and were talking with me and we got joking and giggling, and then the anaesthesiologist, Steve, came out, which meant we were getting this show on the road. he was very funny, and he pulled out his syringe and assured me it wasn't a shot, it was just going right into the iv. still all giggly, nurse Chris asked if i was ready, and Steve said "You're gonna LOVE this." it hit me pretty quick, and i laughed and said whoa you're not kidding - i had been sitting up (i don't like laying down in hospital beds unless i have to) and decided it was a good time to lean back, which Steve confirmed by laughing and saying "yeah, that's a good idea." i giggled, and the next thing i knew i was waking up in the recovery room, where another nurse was sitting with me reading a magazine. she saw stir and cheerfully said "well hello there!" i smiled, said hi, and fell back to sleep, hehe. when i finally woke up, she was still there, and chuckled. "how are you doing? would you like to try to wake up, and we can take you back to your mom and dad?" i agreed, with a lot of hesitation, because all i wanted to do was go back to sleep, but i talked with her for a little while until i got out of my sleepy, resistant (and very typical sleepy cory) state.

long story short, i'm back, and feeling good. they got the results back immediately and said that it definitely was a fibroadenoma, and i shouldn't have any problems. there's a possibility that i could get another one, but if/when that happens we can reevaluate things and generally just cross the bridge when we come to it, as the old adage goes.

so i feel pretty great right now. so much better compared to the biopsy - i think that's what had me most nervous because recovering after the biopsy, while not too trying, just hurt so bad. i had a lot of pain. and with this, during surgery they inserted a type of numbing, pain med into where the F.A. had been, which is supposed to last for 5 days. sweet!

annnd i'll also be able to start swimming again really soon, and the doctor said it really shouldn't be a problem at all. yay! can't wait.

ok, i suppose that's enough for now. if blogger stops being sassy i'll upload that picture, and also upload a picture of my daily drawing (which has yet to be done, but will be done as part of my NY resolution!)

hugs
peace, and love

sunglasses and swingsets

happy moms day to all those groovy moms out there.

my mom is still fast asleep, and my papa bear is downstairs scurrying about in the kitchen... there's a bouquet of roses sitting on her breakfast plate along with a big envelope. my parents are so cute... my dad comes off as being pretty rough around the edges, but it's indescribable the place my mom has in his heart. and the same for goes her.

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momentary gap there - my mom woke up and i went down to have breakfast with her and pops. she opened up her gifts from my dad, and saw the chocolate covered strawberries that my brother made for her in the fridge [he's still passed out on the couch]. she opened up my gift - i had done a little drawing of my brother and i from when we were little. it slipped my mind that she is the crazy weepy type over that type of stuff, so that caught me off guard but it's all good. i was actually pretty pleased with the drawing... well i actually think of it as more of a finished sketch sort of thing... i think i'd like to do something more with it. well... do a more finished piece or something. here it is...




i've been itching to work with wood again too, and have been trying to figure out a way to use it in my illustration process. either way, it was fun to do. it was the first time i had used acrylic in a while, and the first time in a very very long while that i had used it the way i had. it was fun, and i think i need to do more of it.

i had decided that if i couldn't get any art done during the week [and even if i do] that saturday mornings and afternoons will be art time for me. whenever i would come home from breaks in the past, i would very easily and quickly settle into a stagnant state, not doing any work and being super lazy. so far, that has not been the case at all. i haven't done that much art, but i've been busy. i got home tuesday afternoon after a whirlwind of a moving job in baltimore, and started working at the daycare wednesday, doing a double shift, then working thursday and friday as well. i'm working 3 days this upcoming week, too. i've also been trying to be a better friend and actually hang out with the people here. that's another thing i would find myself doing - i'd get home, and just want to shut myself off from everyone and forget that i could even have fun with them, then the last week i would be around town i'd realize i had promised all these people i would spend time with them, and would try to play catch up with my last few days, and that would just get me frazzled. so, thursday after work and all that i went to eighties night a few towns over with my friends dave and jason, and that was pretty fun. they're crazy... i had hoped laur would come too but she had lots going on already, but we might go next week. woo hoo! friday night i did actually get to hang out with lulu - we both got off work at the same time, and she came over for dinner, and then we went for some icecream and picked up a couple movies to watch [failure to launch and deja vu], which was stellar. then yesterday, dave came over in the afternoon and we drew for a little while. i did an awful drawing of him... it was the first arty thing i had done since i'd been back, and sweet bajeesus was it bad, haha...


it looked better before i decided to play with my little kids pastels on it... ohs wells. later i did the drawing for my mom, and that was better, so there ya go.

long story short -

it's been excellent being home. i miss baltimore... or rather, i miss my friends in baltimore/mica, and parts of the city. and i'm really pretty sad i'm missing tyler's commencement... i'm trying not to think about it too much. i miss you guys.

but i'm also happy being home for a little while. and it's nice keeping busy here. i'm not a fan of some of the middle school drama i've come home to, but at least it's not my drama - just stuff i end up hearing about a lot. again - ohs wells. i also really love my job at the daycare, working with the 3+4 year olds. they're my favorites. they don't have an attitude yet, which is nice... but they still have a personality.

and although i shouldn't, out of my kids i do have a favorite. his name is joey, and he's almost 4. we were on the swings thursday, and he started talking to me about death. he's recently grasped the concept, because his dad's dog died not too long ago i guess. joey started talking about dying, and he was getting so choked up... he was talking about how one day he was going to get old, old like his dad, and older, and that his dad would die, and then he would die. he stopped swinging, and looked straight in my eyes with the saddest, most concerned look on his face. he said "when i die, if i get really sick and die, will you pray for me?"

i just looked at him for a second, but said yes of course i would - but that that was something he wouldn't have to worry about for a long long time. i said to him he was healthy as a horse, and that he didn't need to think about that. he calmed down a bit, but continued talking for a little while, talking about, and also asking at the same time, about how everyone would die at some point. i said that yeah, at some point everyone does die. but that that's why we have to love our friends and family and have fun with them and take care of yourself and others.

it was really interesting, because here is this 4 year old boy trying to grasp the meaning of life and death, and talking about it so openly and being brutally honest, and completely raw - and i just wanted to give the same back to him, but it was also so difficult to tread the line of how much to say or what should be said, and also how to say it - even though he's obviously a smart kid, he's still 4, and although i by no means talk down to kids [i try to talk to them like people - they understand so much more than some people give them credit for], i still had to really think about the way i said or phrased things so that he could understand. it really forced me to try to simplify what can easily be, and is, a complex thing. that's just been something on my mind for a while.... all of it.

he's an amazing little guy. his favorite song is "raindrops keep falling on my head."

he always sings this part -

raindrops keep falling on my head - but that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red. crying's not for me cause - i'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining, because i'm free - nothing's worrying me.

he's been singing that since i first met him last summer.